Earlier this year I spotted this guy selling antler lamps out of his trailer. It was parked by the side of the road just north of SF, and I had to pull over and take a look. The guy’s name was Spud. Spud’s antler lamps were not what most people are looking for in the way of modern décor. But some of these antlers - especially the Moose variety - struck me as exceptionally beautiful natural forms on their own. And the fact that they were collected from animals that had “shed” their antlers as part of their seasonal molting patterns made them objects I felt good about owning.
I wanted some plain Moose antlers - called paddles - but without the lighting designs and hardware. Spud only sold his complete lamps, but he was kind enough to connect me with his Moose antler source in Montana. So I flew there and met his pal and came away with a wheel barrow full of shed Moose paddles. We hosed them off and shipped them back to our office in San Francisco. I didn’t know what to do with them, just that they were gorgeous natural shapes. I figured that these could be hung on the wall to be appreciated for their unadorned beauty. They would also look good on a table. Only fresh flowers like peonies are prettier, but flowers wilt and die. Moose paddles will last forever; if you drop them and they won’t even chip. They are also environmentally smart: Moose did not have to be hunted down and gutted (which they hate) for these trophies.
Nature is a better designer than Frank Gehry, than Eames, or anyone else. We all know that deep down, but tend to forget it until we see Autumn leaves turning in Vermont, find an abalone shell, get lost in a starry night sky up in the mountains, or stumble onto antlers. Moose paddles are unique: especially strong, sensuous, massive examples of nature’s design capabilities, while also visually delicate and refined. They have a decorative baroque character - they are Nature’s Big Bling.
Our Moose and Caribou cousins have received national media attention in the run-up to the election. Their position has been exaggerated and sometimes even deliberately mischaracterized (though I would not want to imply that Moose are a monolithic voting bloc), so we are re-purposing the Moose this election year. We’re selling these paddles at cost and giving all the proceeds to the Obama campaign. All the proceeds - not just the profits. Prices include shipping. And we will even pick up the tax, as people seem to get very fussy about taxes this time of year.
And so you will have the same expertise in purchasing Moose paddles as I did, you should know that they are sold by the pound, not by their size or character. How refreshing. So pick whichever one you want from this selection, and send an email note to Faris at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll take your credit card details in a return phone call.
What we have for sale is our entire inventory of paddles. If our “Moose for Obama” results in a run on these items, we will do everything possible to get more stock right away. So feel free to order a few paddles, or a set, or to do some holiday shopping early. (Paddles may be this years' most sought after Christmas gift). And please pass note onto others. We all need to put in some extra time, quickly, prior to the election to protect humankind and all nature's critters around the globe, us included.
Your Moose paddle will hopefully serve as a reminder that a person like Obama did get elected despite all that he (and we) have been through. And that Moose can graze freely in some countries. Spud might not know that his work is serving a political cause, but Bullwinkle would be proud.
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